Yes, Again:(Mis)adventures of a Wishful Thinker by Sallie H. Weissinger

Publisher:  She Writes Press, (October 26, 2021)
Category: Memoir, Grief, Loss, Romance, Dating
Tour dates: October-November, 2021
ISBN: 978-1647423155
Available in Print and ebook, 224 pages

Description Yes, Again by Sallie H. Weissinger

In this laughter-through-tears memoir, Sallie H. Weissinger, a late-in-life widow, recounts the highs and lows of navigating the tricky online dating world of the 2000s. Interwoven throughout her adventures in search of a new relationship are stories from her childhood as a military brat, her southern heritage, her various marriages, and the volunteer work in Central and South America that helped her keep moving forward through it all.

Weissinger keeps her sense of humor as she meets men who lie, men who try to extort money, and men with unsavory pasts. When she experiences even more loss, her search for a partner becomes less important, but—with the help of friends and dogs—she perseveres and, ultimately, develops her own approach to meeting “HIM.” Blending the deeply serious and the lighthearted, Yes Again shows us that good things happen when we open up our minds and hearts.

Advance Praise Yes, Again by Sallie H. Weissinger

“A funny, touching, and ultimately uplifting story of a woman searching for love and purpose.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Weissinger celebrates her 75th birthday in Yes, Again by taking the reader on a tour of her big heart and where that heart has taken her. This glorious story of a life lived in love is the perfect read because it’s hilarious, honest and full of hope. We are all lovers, or we wish we were and Sallie shows us how: never give up, occasionally give in and don’t stop believing. Brava!”-Adriana Trigiani, Bestselling author of
Tony’s Wife 

“If you like to read memoirs, you won’t be disappointed in Sallie H. Weissinger’s Yes, Again. I really loved it….it was a pleasure to read a book written by a woman who didn’t let age get in the way of seeking love and living life fully.  While she may not have realized it when writing, Sallie provided a life lesson for those of us of a certain age: There’s no reason not to take charge of our lives and make things happen. Whether it’s looking for love, reaching personal and professional goals, or living on purpose every day, women can disrupt aging and rise to life’s challenges.”—Camille Goscicki, vitalaging4women.com

“After reading Sallie’s soulful book, I have to say this gifted writer got the love she wanted the old-fashioned way . . . she earned it!”-Lacy J. Dalton, singer and songwriter

“Linearity works for many things; however, in Sallie H. Weissinger’s potent book (and even more potent life) she shows us how tapping into grace can be a tangible way of entering into mystery, meaning, and direction. By recounting times of staggering loss, loneliness, self-doubt, perseverance, and openness to the ineffable, Sallie demonstrates how the journey of life can be a glorious pathway for those with a bit of daring!”-Bill Say, MA, life coach, Process Work Diplomate, and instructor at CIIS, JFK University, and the Wright Institute

Interview With Sallie H. Weissinger

Hi Sallie, thanks so much for agreeing to this interview! 

TR: Please tell us something about ‘Yes, Again’ that is not in the book.

SHW:  Writing a memoir is a draconian exercise in deciding what to present to the reader and what to dump.  A lot didn’t make it into the book, and each time I cut something, I threw a bit of myself away.  One tough decision was not to write about growing up in Munich in post World War II-Germany, amid the bombed-out buildings and street rubble. Four decades after we returned to the states, I called my mother one weekend to recount a dream I’d had about playing with a little girl with one arm that resembled a sausage.  I asked if that had happened or if I had made it up.  “That was Erika,” Mom said.  “The lower part of her arm was blown off by a bomb.”  Our conversation brought back more memories, including one of a little boy who’d lost both eyes. By the time I was five, I’d learned to identify with innocent people who’d endured hardships I couldn’t fathom and resolved to do what I could to help them.  In my book, though, I skimmed over these childhood memories and most of my first marriage to focus on my 1978 meeting with husband-to-be Matt and events after that. 

Another difference, as I answer my rephrased version of your original question, is this:  If I had written Yes, Again earlier, there would be less of my family’s and my dirty laundry in several early chapters.   It wouldn’t have been as honest or as genuine.  And there would have been no internal voices called “Sweet Pea” and “Steve.”  

TR: Where did you get the inspiration for your book cover?

SHW:  When we were pre-teens, my friends and I used to blow on dandelions after they turned from yellow to white.  I’d close my eyes and make a wish, blowing hard on the white feathery seeds and scattering as many as possible.  The legend was that, if you blew all the seeds off, like blowing out all the candles on your birthday cake, your wish would come true.  But I never thought I had to blow all the seeds away. I thought if just one seed floated off in the right direction, my wish would come true.  That’s why I wanted the cover to show the one light-infused seed floating into the air, flying off the page and up into the blue sky. 

My She Writes Press project manager and the designer asked me for ideas about what I wanted my cover to convey.  First, I suggested an open window looking out on a field.  Next, we tried versions of a dark house with one lit window that signified hope.  No versions of those two concepts got us “there.” That was when I remembered wishing on dandelions.  My patient designer went to work on a new round of graphics, incorporating the vision of ascending, hope-filled dandelion seeds.  It was fun and rewarding, but not easy.  I thanked her for hanging in there with me.  I’d like to thank her again. 

TR: How long did it take you to write this book from concept to fruition?

SHW: It seems like it took forever.  I’d say it was a total of four years, but in the beginning, I didn’t necessarily intend to write for publication.  I was keeping a journal that turned into a personal memoir that turned into a book.  It helped to have two close friends who were impressive editors – they encouraged me to publish it because they believed my writing contained helpful life lessons about working through dark days.  Then, many amusing episodes occurred that warranted sharing with readers.  That mixture of the painful with the humorous – and the ultimate outcome – were not possible without the passage of time. 

TR: Seasoned writers usually have a routine.  Can you tell us about yours and how it developed?

SHW:  I’ve always been interested in knowing what routines established writers follow.  Everyone I’ve read about writes in the morning.  Ernest Hemingway, Haruki Murakami, Kurt Vonnegut, Maya Angelou, Stephen King, Barbara Kingsolver, Susan Sontag, and Alice Munro all wrote or write in the morning. Serious writers don’t answer the phone or pick up emails till they’ve completed their writing; they screen out distractions, leaving errands, appointments, chores, phone calls, visits with friends, book reading, and exercising for the afternoon. They set and meet their goals to ensure they write every day for a certain number of hours.  Often, they have a quota for a specific number of pages or words.  They sit down at the same time each morning and follow a fixed regimen (for example, taking a 15-minute break every two hours).  Stephen King writes six pages a day; Maya Angelou rented a hotel room without a phone, so she couldn’t be interrupted.

I tried to establish that type of routine but never could.  Too many other things seemed to demand my attention.  The phone rang, or a neighbor knocked on the door.  I couldn’t ignore the pile of emails in my inbox or the voicemails and texts on my phone. I had morning meetings I couldn’t blow off.  My girlfriend could only go to the gym at nine a.m.  Interruptions were frequent, and it was hard to get on track. Even worse were the days I couldn’t write at all because I was antsy, distracted, or despondent.  On the other hand, I had days I wrote from mid-morning till midnight or even later, forgetting to eat dinner because I was on a roll and going with the flow.  I stopped only to walk the dogs and then went back to the keyboard.  I don’t suggest doing it the way I did. 

TR: What is your favorite scene in the book? Why?

SHW: If I answer this question, I will give away a part of the book 1don’t want to reveal to people who might buy it.  I’ll say I especially like Chapters 15 and 16 and the Epilogue.  I love the scene in Chapter 15 about the Portland airport and the one in Chapter 16 about the chickens.  These scenes and the entire chapters were fun to write. They wrote themselves.    

TR: You wrote about online dating and some of the dates you went on that made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes.  Can you share one of those stories with my readers?

SHW: You may be thinking of a first encounter at a coffee shop in Berkeley – I’d gotten there early and was sitting down, sipping a cappuccino when my prospect showed up.  His profile indicated the likelihood of meeting an interesting, intelligent man, and our phone call had been promising.  We arranged to meet on University Avenue, near campus.  When he entered the coffee shop, I saw he had a donut-shaped cushion in his hand.  We recognized one another from our photos, and he approached my table.  Mr. Online Prospect placed the inflated ring on the chair next to me before going to the counter to order coffee.  When he returned, he kicked off the conversation by telling me he’d had a hemorrhoid operation the week before.  He positioned himself carefully on the cushion to minimize the pain, wincing occasionally.  I watched him move around uncomfortably during the entire time we sat together, managing to make polite small talk and hold back any signs of amusement.  I felt bad that he was experiencing discomfort but wondered why we hadn’t postponed our coffee date. Did he think sharing details of his hemorrhoidectomy with a potential partner was the way to pave the road to romance? There were other laugh-worthy anecdotes, but this one takes the cake.

TR: Where does your passion for Spanish come from?

SHW: When my father was stationed with the Air Force in Tokyo, and I was attending a military dependents’ school, my seventh-grade social studies teacher taught us from a textbook with chapters about children our age who lived all around the world- Russia, China, Africa, France, Australia, Iceland, and many more countries.  Our textbook presented the children and their families in a cultural and geographical context.  We learned what their parents did for a living, what their homes (in some cases, tents and yurts) looked like, how they studied, what they did for fun, and what they ate.  I loved that entire semester. There was a little girl who lived in Mexico City, the former pre-Columbian capital, Tenochtitlan; a Quechua boy in Cuzco who described visiting Machu Picchu; and an Argentinian boy whose gaucho father took the family for a one-day outing to Buenos Aires.  Each child in our books had a name and a distinct personality, but for some reason Mexico City with the floating gardens of Xochimilco, Peru with its Inca ruins, and the cosmopolitan city of Buenos Aires seemed to me the most exotic, enticing places in the world – even more than Japan, where our family took weekend excursions to see intricately carved, painted temples and shrines.  When I started high school, I chose to study Spanish because of my vivid seventh-grade memories.  In college, I majored in Spanish (and minored in French), went to the University of Madrid and lived in a Spanish dorm for a year, and went on to graduate school in Comparative Literature in Berkeley, studying Spanish, French, and English.  I taught Spanish in my twenties and have visited Spain many times since then.  For more than two decades when I worked in human resources and public affairs at the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, I had minimal opportunity to use the language, other than reading Spanish authors and going to movies in Spanish.  But I knew I’d get back to it.  When I retired, I started doing medical interpreting in Central and South America and the Dominican Republic and writing and translating medical manuals.  Covid has brought that to a halt, at least temporarily.  But it hasn’t stifled my passion for it. 

About Sallie H. Weissinger

(c) COURTNEY FLAVIN

Sallie H. Weissinger is a native of New Orleans and was raised as a military brat away from the South (Germany, New Mexico, Ohio, Japan, and Michigan). Every summer, she and her family returned to visit her mother’s relatives in New Orleans and her father’s family in a small Alabama town. She has lived most of her life in the Bay Area and also in New Orleans. These days, “home” includes not only New Orleans and Berkeley, but also Portland, Oregon, where she lives most of the time with her husband, Bart McMullan, a retired internal medicine doctor and health care executive, and their three dogs.

A retired executive herself, she now teaches Spanish and does medical interpreting for non-profit organizations in Central America and the Dominican Republic. Weissinger is a passionate member of the Berkeley Rotary Club and has served on the boards of Berkeley Rotary, the Aurora Theatre in Berkeley, and the East Bay (formerly Oakland) SPCA.

Website: https://www.yesagainmemoir.com/

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