I invited Shobhan Bantwal to So Many Precious Books today to write about arrange Marriage. Welcome Shobhan, thanks for aggreing to be my guest.
Arranged Marriage – Connection or Collision?
By Shobhan Bantwal – author of The Full Moon Bride
My latest book, The Full Moon Bride, explores the fascinating subject of arranged marriage, as a young Indian-American woman navigates the gulf between desire and tradition.Â
Having been born and raised in a culture where arranged marriage is the norm, I had never given it any serious thought—as an institution that is. Most girls and boys growing up in conservative Hindu homes were programmed to accept the fact that someday, when they were old enough and mature enough to settle into marriage, their parents would pick a suitable mate for them and there would be a happily-ever-after.
Arranged marriage is a very pragmatic custom, where the families on both sides come from similar social, economic, and religious backgrounds, hence the marriage becomes a strong bond, not just between two individuals but between families, sometimes entire villages. Strangely enough, love has very little to do with it, and yet it seems to work for the two strangers who suddenly find themselves married to each other.
Caste plays a significant role in Indian arranged marriages. Inter-caste marriages used to be frowned upon some 50 years ago, and to some extent still are, mainly because even within India, there are cultural differences between castes—differences that are too subtle for the outside world to notice. However, caste barriers are slowly beginning to erode as the younger generation is moving away from the old-fashioned form of arranged marriage and choosing to meet and date for a while before tying to knot.
Naturally, conflicts are bound to occur in arranged marriages. I know of some serious disagreements between in-laws that have led to broken engagements and on rare occasions even divorce. While arranged marriage can forge some unbreakable bonds, it can also be fertile ground for vicious sparring, because of family pride, money, and clashing egos. Nonetheless that same family sentiment and preservation of culture can often lead to a reluctant but lasting truce between the warring parties, ensuring that marriages last over a lifetime.
Arranged marriage is a complicated practice, to say the least, especially when culture, caste, and class disparities are thrown into the mix. And yet, it has withstood the test of time.
Readers can find my books, events, contests, photos, recipes, and contact information on my website: www.shobhanbantwal.com/ or visit my facebook page: www.facebook.com/ShobhanBantwal.author
About Full Moon Bride
What makes a marriage—love or compatibility? Passion or pragmatism? THE FULL MOON BRIDE is a compelling story that explores the fascinating subject of arranged marriage, as young Indian-American attorney Soorya Giri navigates the gulf between desire and tradition.
In choosing between two very different men, Soorya must reconcile her burgeoning independence and conservative background. And she must decide what matters most to her—not just in a husband, but in a family, a culture, and a life.
About Shobhan Bantwal
Award-winning author Shobhan Bantwal calls her writing “Bollywood in a Book”—romantic, colorful, action-packed tales, rich with elements of Indian culture—stories that entertain and educate. Shobhan has five published novels by Kensington Publishing, with a sixth slated for 2012. Shobhan can be contacted through her website: www.shobhanbantwal.com or Facebook.
Now for the giveaway! Thanks to Shobhan Bantwal, I am giving away one signed copy of Full Moon Bride to one of my U.S. readers.
To Enter:
Leave a comment with your email address, so I can contact you if you win.
Extra Entries:Â (please leave a separate comment for each, for instance you you are a follower, leave 3 comments that you are a follower).
+3 Old or new follower of this blog.
+3 Old or new follower on Twitter (@teddyrose1).
+2 Tweet about this Giveaway (Up to 1 time per day)Â
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+3 Be my friend on Goodreads (Teddy).
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That’s 31 or more possible entries! Sorry, this giveaway is only open to U.S.
The winner’s mailing address: No P.O. Boxes
Only one entry per household/IP address
Winners will be subject to the one copy per household rule, which means that if you win the same title in two or more contests, you will receive only one copy of the book.
This giveaway will end on Friday August 26th, 11:59 P.M. E.S.T. The winners will be notified by email. Winners must respond within TWO days or will be disqualified.
Copyright 2007-2010: All the posts within this blog were originally posted by Teddy Rose and should not be reproduced without express written permission.
I would love to read this.
gardnerad@juno.com
I have read and enjoyed a few books by Shobhan Bantwal, and would love to read this one. It sounds like she has a great perspective and vantage point on arranged marriages. Thanks for the great giveaway!
zibilee(at)figearo(dot)net
This book sounds so interesting.
I’m an old GFC follower.
mom1248(at)att(dot)net
Great topic, pity I can’t enter. It is indeed the case that arranged marriages have as many proponents as opponents. I suppose all depends on the families involved. Thanks for a great post!
Thanks for the great giveaway! This book sounds so good. I’m an old GFC follower- audreyclair.
twigerina[at]hotmai[dot]com
Shobhan Bantwal is one of my favorite authors. I have this book on my TBR pile.
Cathy
I have never read any of her books but they sound interesting so I would like to enter to win this one
amhengst at verizon dot net
+1 I clicked to give free books at the Literacy Site
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+1 I clicked on the free food for the Animal Rescue site
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I like and am a friend of teddy rose on FB
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I like and am a friend of teddy rose on FB
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I like and am a friend of teddy rose on FB
amhengst
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i like the post on FB about the giveaway
amhengst
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i like the post about the giveaway on FB and left a comment
amhengst
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i like about the giveaway on FB and left a comment to
amhengst
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i am a friend of teddy rose on goodreads
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I am a friend of teddy rose on goodreads
amhengst
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amhengst
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Thanks for the giveaway. I actually grew up with a girl in NY and was from Greece. Her father arranged for her to be married right after high school. That was 15 years ago and I hear she is still married.
lizzi0915 at aol dot com
GFC follower #1
lizzi0915 at aol dot com
GFC follower #2
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GFC follower #3
lizzi0915 at aol dot com
Thanks for this lovely and interesting giveaway. elliotbencan(at)hotmail(dot)com
I would love to read this
mkbrander at yahoo dot com
This sounds like an interesting read!
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I follow your blog via GFC as pmnsl95
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I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
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I clicked at The Literacey Site
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I’d love to read this book. Thanks for the giveaway.
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follow by GFC
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click on Animal Rescue button
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I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
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I clicked at The Literacy Site
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2
8/15
clicked on Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked on Literacy button
8/15
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Would love to read this.
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Old Follower.
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Old Follower.
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New follower on twitter.
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Tweeted.
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Tweeted.
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Friends on goodreads.
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Friends on goodreads.
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Friends on goodreads.
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8/16
clicked Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked Literacy button
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Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/103562829717704704
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue site
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I clicked at The Literacy site
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8/17
clicked Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
8/17
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
https://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/104002014681374720
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I clicked at The Animal Rescue site
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I clicked at The Literacy site
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Tweet
https://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/104002014681374720
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2
8/18
clicked the Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
8/18
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
I clicked at The Animal Rescue site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy site
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Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/104212646689112064
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1
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
8/19
clicked Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked the Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105020142890647552
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1
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105020142890647552
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
clicked the Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105358360081203200
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105358360081203200
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
8/22
clicked the Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105752811463118848
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
1
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/105752811463118848
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
8/23
clicked the Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
8/23
clicked the Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106072294400598016
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1
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106072294400598016
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
clicked Animal Rescue button
8/24
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
clicked Literacy button
8/24
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106445535216533504
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
1
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106445535216533504
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
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Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106808819522338817
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1
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/106808819522338817
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2
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Animal Rescue Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
I clicked at The Literacy Site
PMNSL95 at triad dot rr dot com
Tweet
http://twitter.com/#!/pmernick1/status/107041089516617728
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1
Tweet
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2
8/26
clicked Animal Rescue button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
8/26
clicked Literacy button
mtakala1 AT yahoo DOT com
Please count me in.
nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT
GFC Follower
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Twitter Follower
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Twitter Follower
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Goodreads Friend
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I clicked on the Animal Rescue
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While looking at gravestones in order to gather information for a family tree, I noticed, that my great-grandparents had an age difference of over 15 years and my great-grandmother must have had my grandfather, when she was only 13 or 14. No one in the family ever really looked carefully at the dates thought about , what the dates meant, and ever mentioned it before. I suspect my great-grandparents had an arranged marriage in Europe, since their family was wealthy.From what I gather, when they came to Canada, since WWI was imminent, they eventually moved into separate residences and Great-grandmother had a boyfriend, who was buried next to her and my great-grandfather! I don’t think this arranged marriage was a good thing.
Pinned this one too. Interesting subject.