Publisher: She Writes Press, (April 27, 2021)
Category: Memoir, Divorce, Parenting, Moral Conflict, Caring for Disabled, Caregiver
Tour dates: April-May, 2021
ISBN: 978-1647420321
Available in Print and ebook, 224 pages
Description Crash: Reluctant Caregiver by Rachel Michelberg
Rachel likes to think of herself as a nice Jewish girl, dedicated to doing what’s honorable, just as her parents raised her to do. But when her husband, David, survives a plane crash and is left with severe brain damage, she faces a choice: will she dedicate her life to caring for a man she no longer loves, or walk away?
Their marriage had been rocky at the time of the accident, and though she wants to do the right thing, Rachel doesn’t know how she is supposed to care for two kids in addition to a now irrational, incontinent, and seizure-prone grown man. And how will she manage to see her lover? But then again, what kind of selfish monster would refuse to care for her disabled husband, no matter how unhappy her marriage had been? Rachel wants to believe that she can dedicate her life to David’s needs, but knows in her heart it is impossible.
Crash tackles a pervasive dilemma in our culture: the moral conflicts individuals face when caregiving for a disabled or cognitively impaired family member.
My Thoughts Crash: Reluctant Caregiver by Rachel Michelberg
Wow! A memoir that is both powerful and heartbreaking. I’m not ashamed to say that this one made me tear up more than few times.
Rachel Michelberg had been married to her husband, David when both of their lives were suddenly changed forever. David was flying a plane over the California countryside when he was involved in a crash that left him and his friend badly hurt. After being rushed to the ICU, it was determined that David had suffered massive brain injuries that would result in memory loss and other complications.
Now, David was deemed unable to care for himself and likely to remain that way for the rest of his life. Rachel had to decide if she was up to caring full time for her husband as well as taking care of their two young children and dealing with her own health issues and work as a cantor.
I put myself through university, working in group homes with adults with developmental disabilities. Some of the people I worked with were also in wheel chairs. I know first hand what back breaking work that is, even for well trained staff. I loved what I did because I knew I was making a difference in peoples lives. I was also gaining valuable experience that I knew will help me after I graduated with my social work degrees. However, I understand that not everyone can do this type of work and that is okay. Now, in my 50’s, there is no way I could do it but am so glad I got to do it when I was younger!
At home caregivers are people that are too often ignored or forgotten about in our society and this memoir is an excellent example of that. The difficulties that Rachel faced and the decisions about her husband’s care that all fell to her were affecting and upsetting. I can’t imagine having to face questions like that about a loved one and I hope that I never have to.
On top of everything else, before the accident, Rachel and her husband were going through a rough patch in their marriage and she was considering asking him for a divorce. Of course, after the accident, this question seemed impossible to bring up and Rachel had to decide if she wanted to remain married to this man and provide constant care for him.
I won’t spoil the ending, because this is definitely one that you should read yourself, but I felt such a hopeful and light feeling after reading this. I want to thank Rachel Michelberg for her bravery in sharing this very difficult time in her life and her honesty. I think it could help others in similar situations.
5 stars for a beautiful and moving story and I hope Rachel is in a happier place now!
I received the ebook for my honest thoughts.
About Rachel Michelberg
(c) Alicia Telfer
Rachel Michelberg grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area and still enjoys living there with her husband, Richard, and their two dogs, Nala and Beenie. She earned her Bachelor of Music degree in vocal performance from San Jose State University and has performed leading roles in musicals and opera from Carmen to My Fair Lady as well as the part of the Mother Abbess (three times!) in The Sound of Music.
When Rachel isn’t working with one of her twenty voice and piano students, she loves gardening, hiking, and making her own bone broth. CRASH: How I Became a Reluctant Caregiver is her first book.
Website: https://www.rachelmauthor.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RachelMAuthor/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RMichelberg
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachelmichelbergauthor/
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